The signature rite of the EUPHORIA gatherings is the BAPHOMET ritual, this Paganised re-creation of the legendary Witches Sabbat finds its inspiration in many sources. Foremost of course are the accounts of the witches Sabbat, as described in European witch trial accounts from the late medieval and early modern eras. These accounts were in turn based on hostile interpretations of various pagan practices, such as the Dionysian Bacchanal, and other ecstatic rites. These images of Pagan revelry were combined with various paranoid fantasies regarding the activity of super-natural malefic witches, and belief in an anti-church dedicated to the worship of Satan. For hundreds of years the image of the witches Sabbat has fuelled the fears and fantasies of those who believe that the ecstatic expression of magick and human nature is something to be denied and repressed.

The inspiration for the creation of the BAPHOMET rite came to me after viewing video footage of several ecstatic rituals which were performed at the legendary EOSTRE gatherings, which were organised by Tim Hartridge and the Dark Circle Collective, in the late 1980's and early 1990's. The rituals which I viewed were based on the practices of the Afro-Carribean VouDou practitioners. I was amazed and impressed by the vitality, enthusiasm and ecstatic energy of these rites, that was appreciable even through the medium of un-edited video footage. However, I did wonder why it was that (as far as I was aware) the Australian Neopagan community did not have public rituals of similar levels of energy and ecstasy, based on our own mythic/cultural heritage. It occurred to me that once the sadistic and criminal fantasies of the church fathers had been removed from the stories of classic witches Sabbat, we might have the basis of an ecstatic, liberating culturally relevant Neopagan ritual. The idea took root in my consciousness, and images of a possible Paganised re-creation of the Sabbat began to form.

The reality of the Sabbat was growing in the back of my mind, pushing its way towards consciousness, but something was missing, a suitable deity form upon whom to focus the rite. I tried to imagine the ritual being presided over by many of the deity images popular amongst Neopagans: Herne, Cernnunos, Pan, Aradia, Cerridwen, Hekate and others. Many of them felt close, but not quite right, and after a while I decided to put the idea on the back burner and let it brew in my sub-conscious. A few weeks after deciding this, I was invited to a ritual theatre performance, put on by Orryelle and the Order Of Chaos, called Pentagramaton Chaos. During this performance the hermaphroditic Goat God/dess BAPHOMET was invoked, and manifested in the form of a naked priestess, wearing goat horns, wings and bearing an artificial phallus. The image hit me like a ton of bricks and I knew that I had found my Sabbatic God/dess!

I received a call from Elf, who I had met at the 1998 Australian Wiccan Conference. Elf asked me if I would be interested in attending the 1999 Pagan Summer Gathering, hosted by the Church of All Worlds in New South Wales, and presenting a ritual for the event. This seemed to me to be the ideal opportunity to present the BAPHOMET rite to the Australian pagan community. However, though most of the ritual was written there were still a few elements that needed completion before we could begin planing the rite. I arranged to get together with Elf and an experienced local Witch/Priestess named Marigold and presented them with my ideas for the BAPHOMET rite. They both agreed that it would be a good to perform at P.S.G., and that afternoon we worked on the final elements of the ritual, and then began to consider who we could recruit to form the ritual team.

Within a short time we had recruited enough people to perform the ritual as written, however, before we could assign roles we had one problem to overcome. The role of BAPHOMET as inspired by Pentagramaton Chaos was initially conceived as being performed by a female, unfortunately of the Priestesses we had recruited at that time, only Marigold had the requisite experience to perform this crucial role, and she was not willing to do so. Still, given that BAPHOMET is an hermaphroditic deity there was no reason that a male should not play this part (except that it is easier to adapt the female form to the image of BAPHOMET, than it is for the male). I was reluctant to take on the role, partly because I was at the time unused to public rituals, and partly because the rite contained 2 major speaking parts. I felt that I could perform one of the speaking roles more effectively than the BAPHOMET part, which though pivotal. was silent, and so in the end Elf bravely volunteered to fill the role. The ritualists who participated in this rite were: BAPHOMET - Elf, INVOKING PRIEST/ESS - Marigold, CIRCLE CLEANSING and EARTH - Hawthorn, WATER - Nadja, FIRE - Seline, and AIR - Daniel

Within a few weeks we had rehearsed the rite to our satisfaction, and before we knew it we were at P.S.G. and as ready as we were going to be. P.S.G. 1998 was fantastic, lots of friendly people, interesting workshops and a variety of rituals. Almost before we knew it the day of the BAPHOMET ritual dawned. The organisers of P.S.G. asked us to give a description of the rite to the attendees, and Marigold, as the INVOKING Priest/ess was selected to make the presentation. Marigold was introduced and gazing seductively at the waiting crowd told them “If you want to know what happens at the BAPHOMET ritual, be there at 11o'clock tonight” and with a wink over her shoulder walked out! A stunned silence greeted this announcement, but was soon replaced by puzzled mutterings. One of the P.S.G organisers then stood and ventured that perhaps it would be a good idea to read out the ritual proposal that we had sent to them. The general gist of this statement was that the BAPHOMET rite was a paganised re-creation of the Witches Sabbat which was intended to invoke archetypal Witch energies, challenge conventional social interpretations of these energies, and liberate the ecstatic nature of the participants. The statement also warned that the rite contained nudity, sexual references and adult themes. Thus intrigued but relatively uninformed the attendees of P.S.G. were left to anticipate the evenings events.

Later that night, closer to 12 that 11, the ritual space was set up, the ritualists in place, the crowd waiting, and all was ready to begin. I began to establish the sacred precinct, calling the spirits of the magick and witchery, to attend, calling upon the waiting throng to enter the circle with the song of welcome that began “COME CAST THE CIRCLE WIDDERSHINS...', and as I spoke these words I heard the first mutterings of discomfort from without the circle - ‘Widdershins? Did he say Widdershins?', in spite of this apparent discomfort the majority of people entered the circle and joined in with the spirit of the ritual. However, there were those present within the circle whose intent was not at all in harmony with the ritualists, and who we later discovered had entered the rite with the express purpose of disrupting it!

The circle was cast, and the first elemental priest/ess proceeded around the circle in proclaiming “THE LINE IS DRAWN THE CIRCLE IS CAST”. The next element was called and also proceeded around the circle, when the heckling began. “All right the circle's cast, get on with it!” they shouted, until the commanding voice of the INVOKING priest/ess silenced them, and the rite continued. BAPHOMET was invoked, and stood forth as manifest by Elf, the effect was not exactly what I had imagined! In order to lend Elf the appearance of hermaphroditism we had bought a flesh coloured bra to represent breasts, unfortunately we had not fitted it properly, and did not look in the least like the nurturing female breasts that they were intended to represent. In addition Elf had refused to remove his briefs and army boots, while the horned head dress which he wore had been incorrectly assembled and looked more like donkeys ears than goat horns, altogether the effect was more bizarrely comical, than awe inspiringly other worldly.

It was little wonder that no one other than the ritualists chose to accept the invitation to make the Osculum Infame. If the offer to kiss BAPHOMET's backside came as a surprise to the participants, it was as nothing compared to the surprise that the ritualists felt when a number of people began to sing nursery rhymes and nonsense songs when the energy raising chants began! We were latter informed by those responsible that these actions and the earlier shouting during the circle casting were deliberate attempts to disrupt and de-rail the ritual. These people had decided that the rite was too dark and risky to be allowed to go ahead. They did not inform anyone else of their intentions, but took it upon themselves to try to prevent the energy of the rite from manifesting. Luckily for the energy of the rite, we had organised with a number of drummers to contribute their energy to the ritual. The talent and enthusiasm of the drummers, enabled the good will of the ritualists and the other participants to over come the attempts of the disruptors, so that by the time the formal part of the rite was completed, people were laughing and hugging in groups all over the circle. There were still a number of us sitting around the ritual fire enjoying the after glow, as the first rays of dawn began to lighten the eastern sky.

All in all P.S.G. was a wonderfuly magical experience, and as we drove home Seline kept saying “That was fantastic, why haven't we got something like that in Victoria?”. A little under Twelve months later Seline had convinced me that we could organise our own festival, and we began to recruit people to form a committee to run the first EUPHORIA gathering.

The first EUPHORIA gathering co-incided with an Easter-ANZAC day long weekend, so we decided to start the festival on the Friday afternoon. The lead up to the first gathering was so frantic that Seline and I did not have enough time to write the opening ritual, so we decided to wing it on the night. The next 3 nights and 4 days were filled with workshops, rituals and communion with spirit, magick and fellow Pagans. Saturday night saw the first Melbourne performance of the N.O.X ritual (see Diary of a Witch for a graphic description of N.O.X). Sunday we presented the BAPHOMET rite, and Monday we danced and drummed around the central fire. The following account of EUPHORIA 2000 was written a few weeks after the close of the festival.

In the final few weeks before EUPHORIA 2000 began, when it seemed that every thing that could go wrong; did. I thought to myself ‘This is going to have to be one Hell of a good gathering before I'll ever do this again!' Seline and Sheila, the two other committee members who bore the brunt of the workload, before during and after the gathering, expressed similar feelings. Well I'm pleased to announce that we have already started thinking about plans for EUPHORIA 2001.

Firstly I would like to say that from my point of view the whole event was characterised by friendliness, compassion, consideration and caring for each other, I feel honoured to have been part of such a group; thank you all!

For me the magick of EUPHORIA began Friday evening with the first ritual which began after the evening meal, a spontaneous calling of the Goddess Hekate and the Horned God, an acknowledgment of the spirits of the land and the calling of the elements to establish and guard the circle of EUPHORIA; this circle was not farewelled until the close of EUPHORIA 4 days later. After the opening there was chanting, drumming and dancing which gradually faded into quiet conversation around the central fire as the night passed into the early hours of the morning.

The next morning Saturday the workshops began, I tried to participate in the leather mask making workshop but kept getting called away to deal with various organisational details, there were also workshops on chanting and an introduction to ritual. In the afternoon Tim conducted a workshop on the N.O.X. ritual for all those wishing to participate in the ritual Later that night. After the workshop there was time to relax around the central fire and enjoy the drumming and connecting with fellow Pagans. However, while the rest of us were having various degrees of fun Seline and Sheila spent most of the daylight hours of the festival slaving away in the Kitchen - with a steady stream of volunteer helpers - to sustain us with delicious and hearty vegetarian fare. After the first day the kitchen witches initiated a roster system to share the work more evenly, even so the lions share of the work fell on the shoulders of Sheila and Seline, who not only coordinated the efforts of the helpers with their own, but also created a magical enclave of fun and friendship in the kitchen.

After the evening meal there was more drumming around the circle, when from the depths of N.O.X./Night came the Black Guard to spirit us away three at a time to the ritual antechamber. There we were challenged and faced the ritual ordeal before being welcomed into the Ritual Oasis, where we would shortly journey into the underworld, led there by dancing Houris, our senses overwhelmed with hypnotic desert music, astral vision, chanting, whirling dance and the drop into the silence of night in the desert of SET beneath the arching body of the Star Goddess NUIT.

On Sunday the workshops continued, but many were still processing the experience of the previous night and much of the camp was quiet and subdued. By the afternoon I had returned far enough to conduct the ‘BAPHOMET' workshop for those wishing to attend the ritual later that night. The workshop covered some of the history and mythology of BAPHOMET including the connection with medieval and early modern witchcraft. The basic outline of the ritual was also covered as well as some of the esoteric ideas behind the rite, so that participants could make an informed decision about weather or not they would participate.

The principle ritualists began robing up and preparing for the rite at about 10.00 p.m. then proceeded to the ritual space to prepare the circle and light the bonfire. Meanwhile the other participants were donning their robes, their face paints or covering their bodies with coloured ochres. The signal was given and the waiting throng began their procession to the ritual site. Their drumming could be heard through the fog shrouded night as they approached the sacred hill, guided by strategically placed candles and drawn on by the baleful glow of the bonfire, reflected and diffused in the pervading mist.

As the procession approached the circle they were greeted with the sight of the Dark Priestess of the crossroads, who swept the ritual area and began the calling of the spirits and feys; before admitting the awaiting witches to the circle. When all had entered the elementals were invoked, and the circle cast; we were between the worlds. The witch Goddess BAPHOMET was invoked upon the body of his/her priestess, who stood forth awesome, passionate and wild; breasts and phallus jutting proudly, flaming torch burning atop the goat headed visage. The OLD GOD/DESS was awake and wild magick filled the night as the white priest/ess shrieked the spell of liberation and we danced in ecstatic abandon until we dropped with exhaustion. There followed the blessing of cakes and wine, taking the God within and gathering around the fire as we sat long into the night sharing Magick, companionship and visions.

Monday morning I could see the evidence of magick in peoples faces. Workshops continued in the morning and in the afternoon most of the women took themselves apart to experience the menstrual workshop.

Monday evening, another spontaneous ritual saw most of us dancing and singing around the central fire again, followed by more drumming and conversation.

On Tuesday the children led us into the farewell ritual, which was conducted by six volunteer priestesses, more drumming ,spiral dancing, chanting. And then it was time to clean up and depart. Until next year; Gods willing!

Blessed Be

Hawthorn.

The EUPHORIA festival is a pagan gathering held each year just north of Melbourne, (Australia). The organisers promote the four-day event as an opportunity for Witches and other pagans to explore the deeper aspects of Witchcraft in a safe and supportive atmosphere.

What follows is a journal of the 2001 festival, written by one of those who attended. It is a frank and revealing account of the four days, including rare and graphic descriptions of the rituals performed each night by Witches, priestesses and magicians.

A partial draft, titled “Impressions Of Euphoria” appeared in the winter 2001 edition of Pagan Times, the national publication of the Pagan Alliance. Some names have been changed to protect privacy. Ritual text has been quoted with permission...

Thursday Night:
The thrill of anticipation that goes through me as I arrive at the site is based on past experience: EUPHORIA is a festival that focuses around the rituals presented over each of the four nights. Registering is essential – it’s not the sort of event where you can show up, hang around for a day and then go home. It is something you really need to experience from start to finish. I have heard that the festival this year is going to be bigger than ever, and wonder what it will mean for the magick we will be working.

I find myself quartered in what is soon dubbed the “Testosterone Hut”, due to the six bunks being filled by men. Most of them I already know from Pagans In The Pub. (A wonderful concept for those who don’t know about it – where interested pagans gather each month to network, discuss topics of mutual interest and get pissed.)

The festival site is up in the hills, surrounded by bushland. At the centre of the site is a large open area, where the communal fire is already ablaze. At one end is the kitchen and dining hall, at the other is the ‘house’, where workshops are to be held. Trees loom over the huts at either side, reminding us that nature is never far away.

This year we have a professional caterer. The food last year was excellent, but the Committee members in charge of the kitchen worked themselves to exhaustion to cater for seventy hungry pagans three times a day. This year there will be more, so the Organising Committee has chosen to pay someone else to do the job, leaving the Committee able to work themselves to exhaustion taking care of other matters.

Supper is soup and bread – a first night tradition. After supper, we have a collective pow-wow in "The Gym", a large outbuilding with a concrete floor. The Committee introduce themselves, and talk about the core aims of the festival. Hawthorn, a big round man with a booming voice and lots of long grey hair, explains our rights and responsibilities towards others and ourselves over the weekend. I do a quick head count: there are nearly ninety this year!

Suddenly there is silence in the room. The veiled figure of a Dark Priestess has entered, and without word or sign she holds us spellbound - enchantress of the night. Her dark presence seems to dim even the harsh fluorescent lights overhead. From the opposite door enters the Priestess of Light, blonde haired and barefoot in simple white. Together they summon us to the opening ritual.

We process outside to the central fire. The Circle, which will last the entire weekend, is cast and the quarters called. Hekate, patron goddess of Euphoria, is asked for her blessing. The Dark Priestess and the Light disrobe and dance together as light and dark become one. They then help each other into robes of red: at the place where darkness and light join, there is always power. The fire flares and the sound of drums fill the night as the dance of EUPHORIA begins. Much later after the rite, twenty or thirty of us sit around the fire, and the conversation continues long into the night.

Friday Daytime:
I feel very crappy: I always have difficulty sleeping in a new environment, especially one where there is snoring. Nevertheless, I stumble along to the first workshop.

The first workshop is titled "Sensuality and Sexuality", but the focus rapidly turns to the subject of nudity and body image. I hear some amazing accounts of struggles between self-loathing and self-acceptance. The previous night’s ritual, where the two priestesses disrobed each other, has clearly been on people’s minds.

Tim Hartridge arrives from Sydney with members of his Dark Circle Collective. The EUPHORIA circle is now complete – no more will arrive. Tim asks me to be one of the five principle ritualists for the NOX rite the following night.

I am suddenly very much awake, and blown away by the implied compliment. And the responsibility: the Dark Circle has been performing this rite weekly in Sydney and I am a 'ring-in' for someone unable to make it down. I have a day and a half to prepare, and my part is not a small one. Tim is confident in my ability. Oh dear.

I put all that aside for the workshop I'm running after lunch on Trance. The back room in the house is filled to capacity. The concept is simple: withdrawal of consciousness from the outside world and focusing it inwards, into the dark world of dreams. I use my voice to carry them away in a guided meditation, and several rapidly lose awareness and fall into deep sleep. I know this from their snores. One guy, Chris, is especially loud and eventually I lean over several bodies and put my hand on his forehead, sending a quick flow of energy into him. He quiets. Eventually I bring everyone back, and we briefly share some of what we've experienced. Tim Hartridge, who was lying right next to Chris, felt as if he were deep underground, curled up next to a sleeping dragon. Poor Chris is mortified. Fortunately, it turns out he may have gone further and seen more than anyone during the 45-minute meditation.

People leave energised in time for Honey B's belly-dancing workshop, while I head to the hut for some well-earned naptimel.

Friday Night:
I awake hours later to discover I have missed the Ritual Palette workshop.

One of the aspects that separate EUPHORIA from other pagan gatherings that I have experienced is the emphasis on having the more challenging rituals workshopped and explained by those presenting them, so that there are no misunderstandings about their intent. It also means that everyone attending can have a clear idea of what their role is, and how they can get the most out of the experience.

The Ritual Palette workshop had two functions: to show interested people the elements which go into creating a good ritual, and to create, through consensus, a ritual to be performed that very night. What the workshop produced, I am told, was a high-energy ritual, including a procession through the four elements, freestyle invocation, lots of chanting, drumming and dancing and loads of fun. It creates a good balance to the overall festival – the rites to come will be much more heavy and intense.

As I missed the workshop, I cannot attend the ritual, so I help Tim and some others set up the "Gym" for the NOX ritual the following night. It takes work, as convenient exposed beams for hanging the Bedouin-style tent have been replaced by an actual ceiling. Tim, years of theatre-work coming to the fore, shows us that coat-hanger wire, a few steel hooks and gaffer tape can surmount any problem. Outside, the Goddess ritual generated by the workshop is pumping, the drums filling the air once more.

Late that night, long after the ritual is over, a group of us wander up to the hill-top where last year we celebrated the BAPHOMET Rite, and look out to the south. The glow from Melbourne's lights can be seen on the horizon. The stars are many and very bright, a great snowy road out through the galaxy. The half-moon emerges from the east, casting her glow across us. We are all happy, knowing that each of us at EUPHORIA shares something of the wonder and magick we feel as pagans looking up at the glory of the night sky.ht

Saturday Afternoon/Evening:
As at the first EUPHORIA in 2000, the NOX rite is being presented, but there are some changes. After the NOX proper there is a short "Shakti" ritual, where the Goddess is again invoked. It invites the participants to come before her sky-clad, and drink from her cup. At the first EUPHORIA, only a few people had the courage to go sky-clad, and then only at the BAPHOMET Rite, which was wilder and more primal than the NOX. This year, however, people were being invited to work sky-clad at the NOX, and this difference seems to push at the edges of many comfort zones.
“Will you do it?”
“I’ll see what happens.”
“Well, if you’re not going to, then I’m not either…”

My cynical side is amused no end: for a sub-culture that sets so much store by the ability to go against the current of mainstream society, we really can embrace the herd mentality as quickly as anyone, under the right conditions.

I think of the Dark and Light Priestesses, and the effort they had gone to on Thursday night to get us accustomed to he idea that sky-clad work would play a larger part in this year's EUPHORIA than it did in last year's. I feel slightly disappointed on their behalf, and think that if people are that bothered by it, they shouldn’t attend. It’s not as if anything about the rituals is compulsory.

Hawthorn’s words at the beginning of the weekend covered it all:
“If anything with which you are uncomfortable occurs, you have both the right and the responsibility to not participate in it, and if necessary leave the space in which it is occurring”.

However, the way it all turns out, the pre-ritual controversy merely reinforces for many people just how many emotional barriers they find themselves able to overcome during the weekendd.

Saturday Night – The NOX:
NOX is Latin for NIGHT. There's always more than one meaning for acronyms such as these, but in essence the ritual is about accessing the Night Place within one's self. The NOX has a very Thelemic, Middle-East feel to it, and the setting and imagery are in line with this - the Bedouin tent cum desert campsite, the water pipe hookah with the fragrant tobacco, the belly-dancing etc. It is about half past ten at night. The cauldron is lit and ambient music fills the air. I am at the altar at the entrance, where lies the NOX Pantacle for the admittance ceremony. I am holding the Book of the NOX. Veronica, Litha and Mandy are veiled and deadly-looking with their curved knives, and they disappear into the night to bring the first of our lost travellers to me, the Mysterious Master, face hidden within the deep hood.

Three by three, led by their guides, they come before me, and I show to them the NOX Pantacle, a black disk with certain powerful symbols upon it. They sign their names in the Book of the NOX, and are admitted to the tent for wine, laughter and celebration. Eventually all are gathered and admitted, and the rite itself begins. We five principle ritualists dance around the flaming cauldron with our staves, raising the energy in the circle. The atmosphere of the tent becomes charged, tense with expectation.

The cauldron is removed and replaced by the Pantacle, which acts as a psychic gateway into the Night Place during the guided meditation. I sit, Mandy Veronica and Litha at the other four quarters with everyone surrounding us in a large ring, and we contemplate this thing which seems to steal the flickery dim candlelight itself, drinking in our gazes like a vortex, a well of darkness.

"A star strewn sky hangs heavy over the dry desert plains. Upon the arid soils, there stalks a lone jackal, Anubis — guide and guardian of lightless souls through the desert of Set.

"The great black desert dog draws in the scent of the night air. With senses tensed he peers far toward the east; with eyes and ears, he sees and hears the trampling of hoofed and horned wild beasts. He excites the presence of Therion, wild lord of beasts.

"Pacing up and down, and up and down, he turns about to face the western reaches. There, hanging low, low upon the horizon, shadowy reminiscent of a waning moon. Its crescent horns pointing skyward, tinged with the ochres of the russet desert dust. This is the Great Mother, Babalon, who long since orphaned Anubis to wander in the Desert of Set alone. Howling, crooning, baying at the moon, the Jackal god hears only the cry of his own echo.

"Pacing incessantly up and down, and up and down, his eyes gaze to far above upon the expanse of infinite space. This is the Mother of Night, Nuit, whose body is filled with infinite stars. The cool, distant spaces, realm of stars and gods.

"The Jackal pauses, a halting, frozen stare upon one star. There, reflected in his dark eyes, the sparkling star light, the burning brilliance of the Ruby Star, Sirius. Invoke, O Anubis, the hidden god within thy heart — "Hadit, Hadit, Hadit.

"He withdraws into the night darkness. Naught remains save whisperings in the desert air."

My hood and over-robe by now are gone. Opposite me, beautiful Litha has become the goddess Babalon, and Veronica and Mandy are Nuit and Hadit. Whirling to each quarter, our priest/guide Anubis invokes our energies, and I reply in my turn with a wild roar. For this short time, I am Therion, the Beast.

We commence the Sufi-style whirling dance, drawing everyone up to join us, and our guide takes his drum to begin the Zaar rhythm. People are whirling madly. I take a turn on the Zaar drum as Tim and Veronica prepare frantically for the next part of the night - the Sacred Shakti Rite. People are falling to the straw now, entering their trances, and experiencing for themselves the Night Place within. Finally the drumbeats fail and there is silence.

Softly, a light begins to shine, gently silhouetting a naked form seated on a dais behind a falling transparent veil. She wears a shimmering belt of silver. Reverentially, I take the NOX Pantacle and place it at her feet.

Kneeling now, our priest speaks an invocation to the Goddess, who descends into the willing vessel, her priestess. She speaks long, lyrically, and afterwards I can only remember a little of it, like a beautiful dream that fades away forever in the morning.

"Come unto me... Invoke me with a pure heart, and a serpent flame therein… arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me! I love you! I yearn to you! I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the night sky. Come unto me!"

An incredible feeling of love fills the ritual space as she speaks, and the veil is slowly parted. Awe and wonder are on every face. Some are crying openly. One by one, the principle ritualists drink from the cup She bears, including myself, and then I am sent to gather others to receive Her blessing. The wine is like fire inside me.

I see the Goddess and the priest who invoked Her gently disrobe Mandy and anoint her sensually with oil. The cauldron is relit, flaring brightly, and others, including myself, begin disrobing. Mandy anoints me, and I anoint others, those I know well, in turn. Soon there is a double-ring of us, dancing around the cauldron. A wild spirit comes over the gathering: more people take their clothes off and join in. We sing and chant and hiss, challenging the fire. The energy defies description.

"Eko Eko Azarak, Eko Eko Zamelak..."

The energy peaks, and out of the cauldron surges a seven-foot tornado of flame, wheeling and heaving like a tree in a high wind, answering our challenge. The light it casts makes our skin gleam in the night; sweat running off our bodies freely. In the inner ring now, I see those who stayed clothed on the edges looking on, awestruck and frozen, sharing in the communion. I think some have left, unready for this experience. Goddess-intoxicated, I suddenly see clothing as unnatural, as if it is blasphemy to stand in a Circle before the powers of heaven and earth wearing anything but our own skin. In my heightened state of awareness, the clothing of those on the edges becomes strangely transparent, and I see the nakedness beneath. I am not myself, hardly in my body. I burn like the fire, and time, already a distant and malleable thing, recedes further, much further.

Finally, the fire dies, and at that instant, a bell rings out, sweetly grounding the energy.

I put my robe back on, and it feels strange to the touch, unnatural and wrong. There are one or two couples making love in the straw as I leave. I expect it to be some time after midnight, but to my shock and that of others, I discover it is half-past three in the morning. (At this point, I am not accustomed to the time-dilation effects of major rituals.) I am weary, and need sleep. I also need a shower. The shower block is a popular destination after a ritual such as this, to help ground, and for some, to share magickal intimacies in a more private setting.

Sunday Daytime:
The rumbling of a dragon pulls me back to consciousness. Not for the first time, I vow to take earplugs with me to every future pagan event I attend. The waking state is painful to me - 2 or 3 hours of sleep doesn't do the job. I know I won't get back to sleep, and as I get up, I consider embracing the whole sleep-deprivation psychosis thing. Just going with it. At least it would be a new and interesting experience. And I suddenly realise that those who scurrilously accused me of snoring have had their case shot out from under them - you can hardly snore whilst lying awake listening to everyone else do the same. I feel like crap. I feel like the son of crap.

A cup of strong black tea, loaded with three teaspoons of sugar, helps me function. There are even some hot cross buns. (Our caterer couldn’t grasp why some of us found this funny.) Few are up and about, and I wonder if the caterer has realised that any breakfast she prepares won't be eaten until midday, when the rest of the Euphoria community will begin to stir. I see a new friend of mine, Meagan, near the fire with a few other hardy souls, and she tells me I look better than I did the previous morning - obviously I'd managed to get some proper sleep. Hah.

I don't do much that day. I think maybe I help Tim and the others clean up the Gym, but at some point I stumble back to my bunk when everyone else has finally awoken. The sky is blue, and the day warm, but somehow I am still in the Underworld of the NOX. The previous year's NOX had made me feel the same: It’s called Ritual Hangover.

Sunday Afternoon/Evening:
BI come out of a weird, disjointed half-waking, half sleeping state and realise I have been listening to Hawthorn's voice as he speaks around the campfire. I feel only a little better. The BAPHOMET workshop has begun, and I struggle along to it in the fading grey light - clouds have come across and turned the camp into a place suitable to the realm of Hades.

Certain aspects of the ritual have changed. At the workshop, we have been given strips of cloth, which we will at some point tie around our wrists, symbolising the bonds of fear, shame and guilt we will sever during the rite. One of the priestesses has been given a scourge with which to encourage our dancing. Of course, this is something of a joke - not only is the priestess in question a gentle soul, incapable of actually hurting anyone, but Hawthorn also gives us a “code”, a non-verbal signal to indicate we do not wish to take part in that aspect of the rite.

The code is as follows: stick your thumbs in your ears, wiggle your fingers and poke your tongue out. This is Hawthorn, closet Discordian, in fine form. Laughter ripples around the central fire. He turns serious for a moment as he stresses the need for care in an environment where people may be experiencing altered states of consciousness.

The BAPHOMET Rite is a paganised re-creation of the traditional Witches Sabbat of medieval times. Right down to the "Kiss of Shame", the meeting at a crossroads at midnight, all of it - the perverted imaginations of medieval Catholic Inquisitors being given a modern pagan expression. Baphomet is a figure perfectly fitting with this - the seated figure with the head of a goat, female breasts and enormous phallus, cloven hooves for feet and a flaming torch bound about the brows. A hermaphroditic figure commonly seen as representing the Devil. You could say that the first test that the BAPHOMET rite sets is whether you can successfully let go the Christian preconceptions that such an image suggests. Not everyone can.

For me, this is part of the path - you go along your merry way thinking you're a real live witch, then something like the BAPHOMET rite comes along and forces you to re-examine yourself. You discover all these hang-ups that have been lurking around in the shadows of your mind, leftovers of an upbringing in a predominantly Christian culture. You might not like it, but it's an illumination nonetheless. That, to me, is the whole point of following the spiritual path - those small (or large) moments of illumination. The Gods, the magick, the rituals, they are the tools by which we change our awareness.

The BAPHOMET rite is the Witches Sabbat brought to life. It invites us to call forth the Witch archetype within all of us, dark, wild and strong.

After dinner, a crisis occurs. One of the men has apparently taken issue with the presence of the scourge during the ritual, but rather than say anything at the workshop, he has stewed about it silently, until in a heated outburst he threatens violence, should the priestess come near him with the scourge.

The Committee meets to discuss the situation. To threaten violence against another person at EUPHORIA is totally unacceptable, regardless of the issue that may have prompted it. The man in question insists that he be guaranteed that he will not be scourged. Hawthorn explains that while every effort can be made, given the nature of the ritual no guarantee can be given.

This is beside the point, however. Hawthorn explains that the priestess who has been threatened, as well as several others who witnessed the outburst, no longer feel safe in his presence. As a result, he will not be admitted to the rite. Upon being informed of this, the man immediately leaves the festival.

I am not directly involved in the mess, but I am one of the few who know about it – the rest of the festival remains blissfully unaware of what has happened. My own personal judgement of the situation is simple: For one person to make a physical threat against another is unacceptable, but for a man to do so against a woman, and a priestess, is unforgivable.

The result of all this is that the ritual will start late – many of the Committee need time to ground and centre themselves. Others, though, take advantage of the relatively mild night to strip off and put ochre on. With last year's experience behind me, I'm well aware of just how much the stuff stains, and so I stick to the face-paint kindly provided by Violet. She's in charge of the whole face-painting operation, and really is more than a bit of an artist in this area. I see Litha and Veronica with red serpents writhing over their bodies, someone else made up to frighteningly resemble a feline, and a whole assortment of other half animal, half human changelings. I stick to a simple theme - from forehead to chin, I am painted half black, half white, like Hel in ancient Norse mythology. For good measure, we paint on the red crescent-like horns of Babalon in the centre of my forehead, over the third eye. I go back out to the fire for a while.

The priestess Honey B comes among us and tells us we will be summoned to the ritual shortly. She reiterates that if anyone is uncomfortable with any aspect of the rite they should not attend, and that if necessary they can leave at any time. An especially important reminder, given the previous events. In a charged magickal atmosphere like EUPHORIA, every individual must take responsibility for his or her behaviour.

Sunday Night - The BAPHOMET Rite:
We are summoned when it is time and with drums beating we walk up a path lit with candles all the way to the ritual site. A faerie-road into a night filled with naked dreams of many moons ago, many moons to come. The fires are already burning as we gather at the entrance to the circle, hidden among the trees, and we are met by a divinely tall priestess, raven haired, trailing crow feathers behind her as if she is new to human form. In this rite, on this night, all things are possible. The black veil she wears hides nothing, her skin shining luminously despite the firelight. She carries a broomstick with her, and proceeds to sweep the circle free of unwanted spirits, while summoning us to enter.

“Come cast the Circle widdershins; come drink from the primal well!
Come cast the Circle widdershins; come dance with the Goddess from Hell!”

We enter the circle widdershins, the current carrying us further into the fire and the dark. The circle is cast and the quarters called. As well as the great centre fire, there are smaller fires ringing it about, their smoke adding to the unreality of it all. At the edge of the circle, shadows seem to gather, and I can feel presences up in the trees above. Tonight we work with the Earth energies, primal and savage. We dance, raising energy, the fire in the centre hot against our bodies. The raven-haired priestess is among us with her scourge, encouraging the dance. Our psychopomp, deathly white, bears a staff topped with goat horns curling back over his hand. He uses it to draw a pentagram in the air, crying aloud in a great voice, invoking the presence of BAPHOMET, the God of the Witches Sabbat. .

"BAPHOMET! BAPHOMET! IO EVO HE!"

From somewhere out in the Night, He/She/It comes. Goats-head, breasts, and a huge phallus, with dark wings jutting out from bare back. The words "Solve" and "Coagula" are inscribed on pale arms, and eyes are magickally ablaze. Some cannot look. Some cannot look away. One by one we go forth and make the Osculum Infame, our obeisance to this, our master.

With enormous phallus in place of a wand, Baphomet blesses the wine and the cake, using it to inscribe the pentagrams over them. It bears the cup among us, and when my turn comes, It pours the wine over Its breasts and pulls me bodily to Itself, making me lick the wine off. Baphomet's aura sears into mine, leaving me stunned and weak, as the deathly psychopomp comes next bearing the cake. No tiny individual portion this: I have to reach into the bowl and rip a chunk away with my hand. I eat, and taste blood - I discover I am bleeding heavily from the nose. It is fitting, testament to the power and dread of the ritual.

The drums in the dark are beating wildly, and soon again I find myself dancing with Baphomet. I fall to my knees, joining in the communion of fire and shadow. A few people make love in the straw that has been laid down in the Circle; others merely touch each other sensually. I see one young woman, too shy to remove her clothing during the NOX, close her eyes and give in to the wild current washing around her. Slowly, so slowly, she removes her robe and dances around the fire, and I can feel from her the release, the sense of abandon and freedom. Many have gone by this stage, left the Circle to continue their adorations in private!

The energy changes and deepens for those left in the circle. Finally I too leave, but the drums in the dark keep beating, they follow me from the ritual site and pursue me in my dreams. I sleep very soundly. Later as dawn breaks over the circle the White Priest, who has kept vigil all night, opens the circle.

Monday Morning:
I cough myself awake, thanks to some clever smoke inhalation from the night before. I don't understand how people do it deliberately with cigarettes, if this is the result. I feel as if I've taped my lips to the exhaust pipe of a bus.

However, I do feel more rested, ready for another day and night of the EUPHORIA festival. Then I remember: this is the final day. Last year, we'd had another day and night to ground ourselves after the BAPHOMET rite. This year, lacking the Anzac Day holiday, we're going home completely trashed. I have a three-hour car-journey ahead of me, and I can't be sure I'll be in my body for any given period of the time.

In the shower-block, I discover this sea of ochre-stained water covering the floor, drying at the edges, like some inland drought-stricken lake. Clearly, many post-ritual showers took place in the wee hours, and a good time had by all.

I brunch on fruit salad: yummy, wholesome and grounding. I don't know if it was planned that way menu-wise, but it is exactly what I need. It is a beautiful day, in the mid 20's, unseasonably warm for this time of year. I take a moment to appreciate just how much we have been blessed by the weather.

It's after midday when the camp really starts stirring. A late lunch, and clean up commences. The front of the house where all the body painting had been done is a complete write-off - it will require professional steam cleaning. The campfire in the middle, which has been lit all weekend, is put out and cleared away. I see something very weird - all the coals and ash have been removed, leaving only the coarse sand beneath. Someone pours some water over the sand, and it boils and bubbles for a full minute.

Some of us take a break sit down up at the ritual site, using the opportunity to have a good old chinwag about the weekend, and how it has affected us. We toss around ideas for Euphoria 2002 to put to the Committee – as ever, it is an organic process, and like a young sapling I'm sure the EUPHORIA festival will continue to put down roots in people's hearts and get better and better.

We see Hawthorn making his way through the trees up to the site and like naughty schoolchildren we hurriedly pretend to be working vigorously, instead of sitting around being slack. Poor Hawthorn hasn't been to bed, and the strain is showing in the set of his shoulders, though he keeps moving, doing the work of 3 people. He sets me to the task of returning lost property to people; though it's a big ask at this stage, with half having left already. The Committee are worn down by the work they have done, by lack of sleep and stress. A pity that EUPHORIA could not last a fortnight… but I doubt the organising committee could survive it. Few can appreciate the work that goes into creating such an amazing event each year.

The tale is finally done, at least until the next EUPHORIA comes upon us, weaving its change. The magick doesn't end when the rituals end: it ripples through the rest of our lives like a stone dropped in still water, leaving nothing the same.

I take my leave with smiles and tears – not a one has left the event without making new friends, without at least one experience to treasure. Thus the old words are given life once more: Merry Meet, Merry Part, and Merry Meet again.

INTRODUCTION
The 2002 festival was one of the coldest Euphorias we experienced, this situation was not helped when we suffered a power black out that lasted several hours on Friday afternoon, and began to run low on fire wood later that evening. However, a quick call to the local wood merchant on Saturday solved the one problem and the willingness of the participants to endure the cold in order to experience some amazing rituals saw us all through. The opening rite organised by Honey Bee and Faedrah celebrated the pleasures of life and magick with the symbolic indulgence of a chocolate sacrament. After the opening rite we were once again amazed by the efforts of Tim and the Sydney crew as they presented us with a new ritual - THE VEIL OF MYSTERY - especially prepared for EUPHORIA 2002. The BAPHOMET rite was full of energy and excitemnet, and on the final night the Euphoria tribe celebrated once more with music, drumming, dance and conversation around the central fire.

EUPHORIA 2002 by Cas
What keeps bringing me back to Euphoria? There are many reasons that I return. I love the sense of community that is felt, the rituals and workshops have been excellent, the venue is great and the organizers do a fantastic job of pulling it all together.

As others have already said - Euphoria is so much more than just a festival though. For me that means that it doesn't all end when I wave goodbye and leave the campsite. My experiences at Euphoria have given me lots more than I ever expected to take back with me, I have come away with joy and inspiration - and many challenges too. Euphoria is an opportunity to experience the kind of group rituals I probably wouldn't have the chance to otherwise and be touched in ways that continue to affect me.

For me, Euphoria 2002 was about facing some fears that had surfaced since I had last been there. My friend and I didn't arrive until late Friday morning so we missed the opening ritual. When we had driven about half way there, the mists came down and I started to feel the darkness take hold. I felt as though I was about to embark on another stage of my journey, one that only seemed to make sense on my return, I was both excited yet nervous.

The first ritual I participated in was the Veil of Mystery Rite. We workshopped it beforehand and I was absolutely rocked by what I felt during the trance. I found myself going down a well and through ripples of water. I could not hold the image of Baphomet clearly but was drawn into a spiral that had let me through. My brain seemed to switch gear and immediately I was rushing through a tunnel with great force, surrounded by brilliant strands of light. My heart beat so hard & loudly I thought it was going to break through my chest and each gong crash exploded cells in my body. The light became more intense, like a strobe going off in my head, I started to shake and wondered if I was having some kind of fit. Things were flashing all around me and then we were brought back, I was still shaking uncontrollably. It is hard to explain how that effected me - I was a bit disappointed that I hadn't had more time in there, but relieved also as I had been scared. Scared of what else I might see or feel but also that I would make a fool of myself in front of others thrashing around like that.

I was in two minds about the upcoming ritual, I wanted to do it but those inquisitors were a worry. They looked intimidating, (and it was friendly introduction time). What would they interrogate me over? I was bound to say the wrong thing and thought they probably wouldn't let me through. I wondered for the life of me, what someone with so many fear issues was doing here in a room full of witches – they didn?t look too fazed. It should be fairly obvious by now what the sigil for my mask was to be.

I had helped prepare the ritual space for the Veil of Mystery Rite. Partly to help out, but partly (I admit) to gain some inkling into what was going to go down in there. The last time I remembered setting foot on that space was at the Baphomet ritual the previous year. It looked so different now and memories came flooding back. Later I showered for the ritual with good feelings over everything that was going to unfold - all but the inquisitors. We drummed and chanted around the central campfire in anticipation but it almost became too much to bear. My good friend & roommate had retired to her bed, feeling unwell and I was tempted to keep her company instead. The air had begun to chill me, no one else seemed afraid like I was.

Eventually, we were led off in small groups and I almost ran away. The inquisitors approached and I was commanded to kneel. (I felt sick). They drew out my admission that I was a witch and I was let through. (Phew, that wasn?t so bad afterall). "Yes, YES I AM A WITCH" I yelled....and later "There is no part of me that is not part of the gods". I felt overjoyed.

Later that night brought feelings of incompetence. I was elated that I had made it past the Inquisitors, but another challenge had come - that of transcending the bitter cold. We were walked through the elements, I felt myself entering a light trance and was seated. I was between two women who began to hum. I joined in and found my voice. We held hands and swayed, for a time I felt beautifully warmed. One of the women thrust her hands between my legs to keep warm, it caught me off guard and I said "Oi, get out of there". To which she retorted "That's not very pagan of you"! I started to laugh and totally lost it when another called out "Did you tap her on the shoulder first?" I was trying to be serious and focus but it all seemed so funny – what in the world was I doing here freezing my butt off when I could be home in bed sipping hot chocolate? I felt like I was at the principal's office trying not to laugh, but couldn?t help it.

The ritual progressed and my mind mostly went somewhere else, I wanted to escape the cold. I remember dancing and at some point collapsing. Suddenly the chill enveloped me again, I was freezing, I was miserable, I wanted to go to bed. I waited until everyone told of their experiences then left feeling that I had failed.

That night in bed I tossed and turned. I awoke wondering how I would ever get through the Baphomet ritual. I wished I had brought thermal underwear for it rather than the loin cloth type costume I had made. I spent the day resting, attending a ritual makeup workshop of Vi's then helping the kids with activities. By the time we were gearing up for Baphomet I was looking forward to it – more firewood had arrived!

I prepared for the ritual with full intent, I was ready to welcome Baphomet and celebrate my wild witch-self. Last year Vi had painted me up as a cat?and I had been more than a tad shocked afterwards at the effect it had had on me. It had been my first experience of using a mask to help step aside from my usual persona - though I hadn?t realized that was the effect it would have last time. (I thought we had just been dressing up). Lol

I painted myself as wild and feral as I could. Green and blue covered my body and I drew symbols and twigs on my face. A red snake writhed up from my belly – hair matted and crown of leaves. I felt like some kind of wild faerie as my shy old self slipped further into the background. It was working and I joined the others round the fire to further my state of mind by drumming. By the time we got to the site I was getting there, if you know what I mean. I knew I still had a way to go though as I found myself self-consciously adjusting my hipskirt on the way in.

The circle was cast, Baphomet was called and the wind whooshed through the trees. The outside world had gradually disappeared and my sense of time with it. That much I remember. Trying to put this ritual into words is like trying to describe a dream, afterwards. There was lots going on but I don?t recall much of it now, apart from it being one big beautiful haze. I glimpsed snippets of writhing bodies here and there as we danced with Baphomet, delighting in it.

I had burnt my bondage and I drummed. At some stage I began to be aware of a repetitive drum beat next to me. I stopped and was drawn into the sound, it was beckoning me somewhere else. I remember using the techniques Tim had shown us at the trance workshop - controlled breathing and shifting awareness to the back of my head. Somehow, (I can?t explain it any other way) it was as though I became the rhythm. I started to fall backwards and lost balance, losing whatever that beautiful sensation had been too.

It started again and I focused on finding my inner well. My head fell forward, and I felt I was moving. I didn't see anything but my body began to shake, did it come up from the earth – or was it me? Everything was trembling. The energy forced me upright in a spasm, it was a tremor and I couldn?t control it, it was shooting upwards through me. Was I being hit from the other direction also? It was a bodybreaking force, slinging me back and forth, back and forth. I fell face down into the ground – the next thing I remember was wondering if someone had called my name. I was stunned but got up to dance, joining with everyone - feeling blissfully intoxicated.

The following morning I felt like I had been hammered to a pulp, every part of me ached. I was very grateful later for the chillout room and the kindly souls offering massage & reiki. Afterwards I stumbled back to my cabin a blubbering mess, apologizing to my roommate for forgetting her pillow. We started to giggle when she said she didn't think that was what I was crying about! I didn?t know for certain what I was crying about, but the floodgates were opened nonetheless.

I recovered enough for the blessing of our evening meal & dancing round the campfire. We passed the loving cup and my heart was filled with joy. I needed to give my arms a rest from drumming but I watched and listened, feeling somewhat drained but incredibly happy.

VEIL OF MYSTERY RITE 2002, reported by Frater Carfax
A cold mist had descended upon the camp, those gathered huddled for warmth around the fire, a single beacon of light amongst the stygian darkness surrounding them. Those assembled nervously glanced at each other with only minimal recognition, their faces masked with a white cloth bearing a personal symbol representing spiritual binding and restriction, illuminated faintly by the firelight.

Out of the darkness came Summoners, reaching out, enticing a pair of the assembled to follow them into the darkness. Accompanying these sentinels into the shroud of fog, the selected pair left behind the safety of the group to be placed at the mercy of their guides towards the faint sounds emitting from the darkened wood.

Into the woods they travelled only to be passed into the care of another pair of dryadic Summoners, who led them further onwards on a desolate woodland trail. Before them emerged an encampment of light from which came sounds of muted chanting underpinned by a nefarious hum. Suddenly a blinding light shone in their eyes from out of the cold nights darkness.

"Halt, whom have you there?"

"Two accused of witchcraft your Worship."

"Brothers, we have two accused of witchcraft. Bring them forward,

make them kneel", demanded the voice behind the light.

The pair were pushed forward by the Summoners and made to kneel on a pile of straw before three imposing figures in black, their faces concealed by tall black conical hoods. A menacing accusation was leveled at kneeling pair

"You have been accused of a heinous heresy……that of Devilry!"

"The Black Arts!"

"Licentious behaviour!"

The Inquisitors encircled the pair as the accusations continued-

"Is it true that you have paid money to attend a pagan gathering called Euphoria?"

"Is it true that you came here tonight in the expectation of attending a Witches Sabbat?"

What went through the minds of the accused then will only be known by them. Some remained resolutely silent. Some denied all charges

bringing retorts of "Lies!". Some embraced the charges, staring back

at the Inquisitors, and with determination affirming "Yes!"

"Brothers, we have an admission!"

"It is proven!"

"They are Witches!"

A large black book and a pen was thrust before them as the Grand Inquisitor demanded

"Sign by name or mark…"

- all were to sign that night, none were to refused– undeniable proof that there were none but true Witches present this night.

Upon them signing the mood changed. The pair were led to the edge of a circle, fires blazing in braziers around its circumference beating back the darkness, as two of the Inquisitors stood before them in front of a square shrine consisting of an Earth pantacle, a skull and a receptacle containing a salt. The Inquisitors proceeded to trace a gateway through which the aspirants were beckoned through as welcome guests. At this shrine they were taught the names and signs of the element. They were also taught its sacred qualities- stability, endurance and patience.

Onwards they were urged, to be taken under the care of a pair of water elementals who also ushered them through a gateway, taught them names and signs and certain qualities of the element of water: love and compassion.

Through fire, similar lessons were taught by igneous guardians, the qualities of courage, initiative and enthusiasm revealed.

Finally, sylph-beings at the air element provided the last of the sacred elemental names and signs, and the qualities of optimism and dexterity enlivened within the aspirants.

The elements hermetically summoned within, revealed and manifest, the aspirants took their place in the circle, the atmosphere heavy with primordial sounds that spoke to the subconscious.

In time a full circle of aspirants sat, all of whom had expressed a desire to attend the witches sabbat and had signed an admittance to the practice of the occult arts held in the Inquisitors black book of confessions.

A circle was then cast, a sword cutting the circle round about, a world within and a world without. While the elements within had been summoned, the participants then invoked with the elemental names they had learnt so as to meet and connect with those external energies within the world created by the circle. All were then to rise and start a slow circumambulation to sacred music around a burning cauldron beneath an apex of bush branches. A mysterious object enshrouded in a red cloth held was suspended high among the circling procession, out of reach beyond their grasp.

The music suddenly shifted, a drum rhythm erupted into driving pattern over which a woman's voice sang in ethereal invocation. The crowd moved in response, some swaying, some twirling, the momentum continuing to build through a building opus of music, drums beating faster, instrumentation from lands oriental played out songs lifting the hearts and minds of the assembled into higher realms.

One of the ritualists lifted another upon his shoulders, moving in towards the mysterious object held in the branch tops. Deftly, she freed the wrapped bundle from atop the apex, as she rode aloft on the shoulders of her companion, commencing a processional dance, the following throng dancing around the Mystery hidden beneath the scarlet veil. Before the fire shrine the object was lowered and unwrapped by another of the ritualists.

There before the crowds stood an effigy of adoration - Baphomet!

Goat-headed, a fire burning upon his crown, his right hand raised to the heavens, his left hand pointing to the earth. Some called out in evocation and praise, others fell in idolatrous worship at its base in an act of veneration.

It was then that an intense white light began to hypnotically pulse into the eyes of the assembled witches. In the heart of the light two figures began to sensuously move in a dance of Mystery. Around each other they moved until they came together as one, just as a mysterious figure emerged from behind them through the pulsing light – Baphomet made manifest in flesh, black wings outstretched, embosomed like a Goddess, priapic as a God. This Dark God/dess overshadowed the effigy to itself, reaching to the infinite night sky, and then descended to the earth to touch the head of this graven image just as total darkness descended. Baphomet was gone.

A ritualist now held forward a shining grail, while four ritualists approached to intone an elemental blessing upon a flaming Vinum Sabbati- the Wine of the Sabbat. Upon extinguishing the fire the bearer of the grail orated to the assembled:

"The mystery of the God revealed, first Dissolved and then Congealed.

Herein doth the Essence lay, the Crucible of Baphomet"

One by one, the ritualists and worshippers alike approached to partake of the sacred elixer, upon the taste of which was declared to all people and powers present "There is no part of me that is not of the Gods!"

A manic and frantic dance commenced around the roaring cauldron of flame. An intangible energy built and peaked as all assembled dropped, a reverberant gong ringing out. Its resonating tone cycled, feeding back upon itself, a building sound manifesting as pure energy that drove those present into trance. The energy charged the symbols marked upon the participants masks in preparation for the magick still yet to occur and drove their bearers deep within their subconscious to obtain hidden wisdom within the depths of silence and formations.

There followed a dance of celebration, a dance of impending change as the moon revealed herself from behind the cloud cover, a hint of that yet to be revealed…a tale of transformation still to be told…

INTRODUCTION
Euphoria 2003 kicked off on Thursday night with the introductory talk, before Gavin and Emily presented a fantastic opening ritual featuring Michelle as the Priestess embodying Hekate. This was followed by the traditional fire side dancing, drumming and conversation into the early hours of the morning. The day time workshops on Friday were followed by the first public performance of the ‘Cauldron of Tranceformation' rite (see 2004 for a full account of the ‘Cauldron of Tranceformation'). Saturday was taken up with more workshops, conversation, drumming and great food, before we were once more transported into the Archetypal Witch realms upon the energy of the BAPHOMET rite. Sunday was devoted to relaxing and recovering from the exuberance of the night before. Many of the men got an early start on dismantling the ritual site while Kath C. ran her popular and informative womens only workshop on Menstrual magick and healing. In the evening we all the creation and performance of the nights ritual, which preceded the usual revelry around the fire. The next day Monday and it was time to pack up and head home once more.

EUPHORIA 2003: by Kylie.
WOW! Thought I would share my thoughts from an incredible time. Its long but thought it would be a nice idea for any potential Euphoria newbies. Thursday I arrived and set up, the feeling of anticipation had been with me all week and grew stronger as time went. Quickly I rostered myself on for kitchen duty that night, hey get it over and done with a soon as possible. As time went by and I mean time in moments and memories rather than conventional, as I had no need nor want for a watch, time had become irrelevant, I met new people, old friends and surprise greetings from people I knew but did not know about our common interest. As everyone gathered in the gym prior to the Opening ritual we were invited to decide which aspect of the Goddess we were to follow, Maid, Mother or Crone, after much thought I chose mother for it was time I took a step in my own journey. We were called forth to follow them through the bush along a candle lit path to arrive at the site fore the ritual Whilst standing in the circle we chanted Hekate in, she approached aloof and majestic. It was now that I started to feel that I had stepped into a world, another realm that was going to offer me many lessons, confrontations and inspirations. We had the opportunity to kiss the foot of this magnificent Goddess, a humbling but thrilling experience. Chanting, drumming and dancing followed as well as my first confrontation/lesson. Whilst standing back to catch my breathe, people around me begun to disrobe and dance around the fire, whilst not comfortable naked myself at this moment, I do not have an issue with others choice. However I stood back enjoying the energy and environment, I began to feel like a voyeur. Sky clad people in the centre and robed people on the outside. My comfort zone ripped from my grasp but I was to find out why later. My first lesson learnt in a short moment.

Friday arrived and after an amazingly quiet and peaceful night in a cabin of 6, I arose to a gorgeous day, which was spent conversing with friends sharing ideas, stories and opinions. I heard the food was delicious but I had opted to fast before the Cauldron of Transformation ritual. So instead I helped in the kitchen, being ordered very thankfully around by the lovely Selene. I made enough food to feed double the hungry hordes that were waiting outside. The pre ritual workshop was the next task to do. As we sat around the fire, we were lead through a guided mediation by Philippe. Into a cave and through to a cavern we journeyed to meet our animal totem, spirit guide or deity. To my surprise there stood a voluptuous black Faery. This gorgeous creature has been seen in my back yard and I had been warned against her, but there she stood and I understood why others found her to be worrisome, she was there to take me on a huge step in my journey. Things were falling into place so quickly. As I began to prepare myself for the ritual, I realised that she inspired the dress I made for Euphoria for exactly that reason. As I put on the dress, aspects of my dark Faery over came me and my sense of anticipation increased 100 fold. My fellow pagans and I stood around the fire holding hands when an unearthly sound came from the distance, appearing through the mist and smoke came the most amazing creatures, as these Sirens sang their song, I felt transported into another realm, they lead us into the ritual space - the gym had been transformed into a magickal circle with ankle deep hay on the floor except for a ring of bare space around a blazing cauldron. We stood there and called the elements in the most energetic way I have ever experience. A spiral dance and lots of chanted assured us of the energy we could raise. When I finally felt I could not contain to raise any more energy I step to the edge and lost my self in the drumming and the amazing tribal sight in front of me. An amazing lady anointed my third eye and I felt the last of my ordinary day self leave. I felt neither need nor want to join with the others, in fact I found myself taking the most amazing journey. I joined with my dark Faery as one, I was neither she or me, but a we. The trance had claimed me; it was a journey between us and no one else, a wonderful feeling of femininity and power. Another lesson learnt. At some stage I found myself on the floor with an exceptionally dry throat and left the space for the most amazing glass of water I have ever had! Minus a few items of clothing, yep another lesson learnt. I was enjoying the feeling so much I did not wish to ground and thankfully people left me in my ecstasy. Eventually I came back to earth; my dark Faery had left me but in many ways remains. She had awakened parts of me I had not known nor felt comfortable with. Sleep came quickly and deeply.

I awoke into Saturday, rested but still not quite of this earth. The day spent fire and Apollo worshipping - the Goddess did bless us with incredible weather. As pre ritual preparation – once again we were informed about the BAPHOMET Ritual and taken on a guided meditation. This time I was shown a scene from the ritual-almost as a visual warning to rein in my anticipation and expectations. In my ritual preparation I took on a face painted mask and slowly my dark Faery returned to me. As we walked through the mist on a candle lit path, we meet the elements and chanted as we passed through their gateways. Entering the circle was like entering my meditation and taking a physical step into a Christian misconception. As I saluted BAPHOMET with a kiss on the buttock, I was shocked at myself with an issue that I didn't think would worry me. Why were we as pagans conforming to Christian misconceptions, hadn't we fought against these for hundreds of years, and here we were actually doing it? I went with these feelings and worked through them, accepted BAPHOMET's offering of wine and a seductive dance, the energy raised took me with it-unfortunately I was pulled from the ritual for events out of my control but that did not end the ecstasy for me. Once I was dressed warmly, I joined others around the fire, I was neither quite ready to nor able to express what I had just been through. The mood became jovial and sharing, almost a humorous hysteria, bad jokes, strange conversations involving only bad accents or noises, even a complete barnyard of animal noises-a release from the inner confrontations many of us experienced. The energy from the ritual site was still affecting us, as well as adding our own energy to the group. This continued to dawn.

I realised at this stage I was neither tired nor hungry and had no want for either, food or sleep, I did feel the need to connect to the earth so I took a walk through the misty bush and ended up in a deep and silent valley. The walk back, I thought was sure to exhaust me enough the send me to sleep, I was wrong and my ridiculous delirium lasted through the day. Time, sleep or food held no interest or concept for me but my appreciation of water was extreme - the word ambrosia came to mind. By nightfall on Sunday, I came to understand my BAPHOMET confrontation but I had started to feel dislocated from myself and those around me. My emotions were running high and there was many emotionally fireworks between myself and the members of my circle. The recommendation to create a healing ritual was a relief and agreed to by all. Beginning with a gentle and warming shoulder massage with enchanting chants, the ritual was not only completely in complete contrast to what we had already experienced, it was completely needed. The closing with group hugs and much laughter bonded many of us further and the energy was rising yet again. I felt like I would never sleep again, when a gorgeous lady Kath, took my hand and lead me to bed where she perform Reiki on me until I feel asleep.

I did not hear her leave nor others arrive. I awoke, sleep fuddled yes but once again able to form words and focus on conversations. Another lesson learnt-remember to ground. Clean up was in order and for one last time we held hands and closed the circle, the land became clam as all the energy and vibrancy's of the 5 days departed. We needed to leave but found many excuses to stall but alas one needs to return to the ordinary life so with much honking and goodbyes we left. The road seemed different and I thought at one stage I was on the wrong road, as I got closer to home, I slowly prepared to enter in the ordinary world again, taking many wonderful and some difficult memories with me. So as I sit here now and known that in a stagnant part of my journey I was thrust into a situation that offered me so much that I know next year when I return to Euphoria I would have grown and walked further down a wonderful and enlightening path.

INTRODUCTION
EUPHORIA 2004 began as usual with the introductory talk in the gym, following which we were summoned to the opening ritual. Led in procession around the camp site we filed past the HEKATE altar, pausing a moment to honour the shrine of the patroness Goddess of EUPHORIA, before being led into the woods. We were confronted by a barrier and its guardian who warned of the perils and opportunities that await those who tread the path of the mysteries. When the warning had been given we were invited to proceed upon the path, and pass through the barrier. On the other side we beheld a veiled effigy of BAPHOMET and paused to contemplate for a few moments before proceeding back to the central fire.

The quarters were called, the spirits, ancestors and gods welcomed and acknowledged. A fiery pentagram blazed forth within the circle and HEKATE was called into her Priestess. As the Goddess manifested she lit the fire which opens the gate of EUPHORIA and we danced, chanted and sang long into the night as we embarked upon our Pentademonical Hajj!

MY JOURNEY OF EUPHORIA 2004. By Heidi
For a first timer of Euphoria, the first mention of Euphoria, (which I might add, had to be explained to me!) as I have had no experience in what you call witch magic, I felt comfortable with the notion and signed up for registration. As months went by I never really thought about it only for the moments in the big decision, SHOULD I go naked? I felt I was uncomfortable with my own body! My own ego because I wanted to look gorgeous in everyone's eyes - and how people would perceive my, NOT so shapely body or overly shaped body. However, I thought that I would decide at the moment and open my heart to what ever felt comfortable at the time and not to put pressure on myself. I had also decided to have absolutely no expectations on this event and to make it the most unique, spiritual journey that I could experience for myself!

I arrived on Friday morning (just like me, not to read the information, like I should have, as I missed the opening ceremony). The moment I arrived I was greeted by a lovely lady who showed me to my room and my room buddies for the weekend. She presented me with a hand made ceramic necklace which made me feel very special. I felt very welcomed as I had thought I might not fit in because of not having belonged to a coven or previously moved amongst the pagan community. That feeling soon went away! In spire of the sort of shy person that I can be, I soon made friends and everyone made me feel a part of the Euphoria community, which just touched my heart. Not too long after settling in, the first workshop or briefing began.

Seline and Hawthorn gave their presentation on the Cauldron of Transformation Ritual which I might add was explained very clearly and precisely. From the very word go it was maintained that it was always our choice as to what we wanted to get out of every ritual and where we wanted it to go, I took that on board, still having no expectations on what was about to happen and what I was to experience. I was amazed at the spectacular ritual and the work that must have gone into such an event like this and I lived in the moment and allowed myself to go with the energy that was created. I felt so over whelmed, so moved with the energies that were in the room as I felt there was no gender, we where all one, combined together, no barriers. I felt for the first time in my life that I belonged, this was my moment of pure love, a divinity that only very few people experience in any one life time, a feeling of sensual togetherness, a beautiful, divine experience. Sliding silky oiled bodies together as if we were all linked as one, having had all our past programming disappear in an instant, a true bliss of an empowering energy flow. I reckon we could have lit up all of Melbourne with the amount of energy created ! This was not at all sexual or about sex to me. In no way was the intention that of an orgy, I have been to orgies before, many times in the past and believe me, this was far from that.

My feelings on orgies are like dogs on heat, full of hormones and the smell of just sex, you are there for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to have sexual penetration and therefore there is no personal connection. Unlike my experience of Euphoria it is a very separate feeling and in my experience you do leave - as a female - feeling quite dirty and worthless. Personally I don't recommend it to anyone, just in case you were wondering. However, at Euphoria I did go to the next step and made love to the man I was with. I don't regret that moment as I took it as a learning experience, but if I had the pleasure of experiencing that moment again I would not have gone all the way. Afterwards I felt it only spoilt the moment I was in and the feeling of a spiritual journey that I was taking on board. To me, it was not about getting laid, even though I felt that way for a while! However, I dealt with that and moved on.

The following morning I felt so good and alive with such good memories and still buzzing with the energy from the night before and then it was time for more eventful moments with another workshop and briefing for the BAPHOMET Ritual. Again Seline and Hawthorn explained in great detail what this ritual was all about and the history of this event, again it was our choice if we decided to attend or not. Then followed the blood workshop which I thoroughly enjoyed and got a lot out of, as I was joined together with most of the women and shared a wonderful meditation and the information about our blood and what it meant etc. I felt sad during the time of discussing mother / daughter bonding rituals which I never had with my mother and grandmother. Later I had a long chat with Katherine and she made me feel at peace with that and it was ok and that I have my own daughter and grand daughter to share many moments with, the sadness soon ran away from my heart.

BAPHOMET was about to begin and the anticipation was building and I was getting very excited even though I had no idea, inspite of the thorough workshop, what was about to happen. The lead up on the pathway was so spectacular with all the lit candles guiding us to a journey of amazement and the energy already flowing from person to person was incredible. Dancing around the huge burning light of flame the tension build up, it was so intense I nearly wet myself through such power and the sweat that was running off my body, which made it so much more explosive. The ritual was amazing and then BAPHOMET came out, well, Wow! As the night progressed, I felt so in tune with myself, I danced until four in the morning, (which is so not like me as I am normally in bed by ten) I was so enlightened with internal energy created by everyone and I thank them for that, it was like a gift, that was just for me and I became one with myself and began a journey of enlightenment. Enhancement of spiritual growth, a true understanding of myself, I finally felt complete and understood what I was all about and what my purpose was, on this earth. I felt so light, like it was almost possible for me to fly and in my head and heart I was flying, the people around me had all faded out, as if I was there alone with the Divine and the drumming was my heart beat in tune with the earth and all of nature and the surrounds. The slight breeze on my naked body was caressing me with absolute purity of life!!! And that is what Euphoria meant to me.

The rest of the gathering passed like a dream.

I thank you Seline and Hawthorn for all your efforts and the love that went into this experience, the journey that you both have created was truly life changing for me. I have come away loving myself more, appreciating life for what it is, becoming one with all the elements that earth provides, to be more expressive, learning about true self and the love I have to share with others, this experience is so priceless.

THE CAULDRON OF TRANCEFORMATION: An impression, by Hawthorn
As we wait for the CAULDRON of TRANCEFORMATION rite to begin, we form a circle around the central fire and begin to meditate, focus and quieten our inner processes as the WATCHERS lead us in a wordless susurrating, whispering, hissing, sighing, serpentine chant. As our consciousness begins to loosen its hold on everyday reality the SYRENS come from the temple and begin circling us, their naked bodies clearly visible beneath their robes. They begin a weird ululating cry, enticing the participants into the ritual, teasing and calling us into a realm of mystery and transformation. Around the circle they undulate, then taking the hand of one of the participants, lead us into the temple to the accompaniment of their own cries, and the hissing, whispering, sighing call that we continue to utter. From the perimeter we spiral to the centre of the circle and out again, all the while the weird song of the SYRENS mixes with our own whispering serpent calls to create an air of other worldly expectation. As the spiral dance unwinds the SYRENS form an inner circle close to the flaming cauldron in the centre of the circle, while the rest of us form a larger circle around the perimeter of the temple. The sighing and wordless singing continue for a moment before ceasing at a sign from the SYRENS.

Turning as one to face the Western quarter, the SYRENS raise their voices in a piercing ululation as they summon elemental Air. The elemental WATCHER of Air throws off his loin cloth, bellows at the top of his voice and proceeds around the perimeter of the circle to the cheers and claps of us all, calling in Air with gesture and roaring sounds. The process is repeated in the north, west and south to call in FIRE, WATER and EARTH to complete the circle. Again there is silence until the SYRENS begin a quiet wailing cry, filled with yearning and desire and magick, the cry builds up and up, and the SYRENS call the only word which is to be spoken in the rite: HEKATE! HEKATE! HEKATE! The dark Priestess answers the call of the SYRENS, manifesting the Goddess HEKATE into the circle. HEKATE approaches the centre, enticing, caressing and finally disrobing the SYRENS one by one before encouraging them to join hands and spin with wild abandon around the flaming cauldron. As the SYRENS spin and keen their strange other- worldly song, the deeper rumbling of the elemental WATCHERS joins the chant, signalling the rest of us to add our voices to the spell of transformation.

People begin to move and sway, to remove articles of clothing as their excitement and the heat within the temple grow. The invokation becomes wilder and wilder as more participants join the wild spinning around the cauldron, and the fire within twists and leaps and writhes in response, again and again, as we raise our energy. The energy of the fire writhes and spirals then pulses and surges towards the ceiling as our dance alternates between wild circling, and rhythmic thrusting of our bodies, in and out, around and around, again and again, until we all drop with exhaustion.

As we catch our breath and wait with anticipation HEKATE takes her place in the centre of the circle, and allows the SYRENS to disrobe her. The SYRENS then move to the altar, taking up cups of wine and the Horned Chalice of EUPHORIA they return to the centre. The SYRENS salute HEKATE as one of their number kneels before the Goddess incarnate presenting the Chalice to her sacred Yoni. HEKATE raises her arms above her head as the SYRENS pour their libations between her breasts allowing it to flow over her body and into the Chalice as the Goddess channels the accumulated energy through her being and into the wine. When all the wine is charged the SYRENS rise and HEKATE returns a portion of the elixir to their cups. The SYRENS drink, bodies swaying and undulating as the energy of the magical elixir fills them. HEKATE joins the SYRENS as they move amongst the participants offering the wine of magick and transformation. As we drink of the elixir, we are encouraged to move and give expression to our magick, to our animal nature, to our inner spirit.

When we have all partaken of the nectar of the Goddess, a brass cauldron filled with anointing oil is carried into the centre of the circle, and the four WATCHERS gather around it as the SYRENS carry four small man- shaped bottles of white liquid from the altar. The WATCHERS proceed to pour the liquid onto each others' chests, charging it with their male energy as it runs from their bodies and into the cauldron of oil. When the last of the charged fluid has mixed with the oil, the WATCHERS dip their hands into the cauldron, and anoint the bodies of their fellows. When all the WATCHERS have been anointed they call upon HEKATE, and she allows them to anoint her body. Then the SYRENS join the anointing and WATCHERS and SYRENS begin enticing others from the circle, enchanting them with oil and fire and magick. Oiled bodies touch, dance, embrace as we begin to sway in time to the music which has previously been obscured by the SYREN song of the ritual. Now we dance to the music, within and without. Excitement builds as we begin to move around the circle, dancing, swaying, leaping, spinning and undulating. Animal cries are heard around the room, bodies touch, then move apart, couples embrace and sink to the floor, dance and trance and sensual communion with spirit continues. As the sense of magick ebbs and flows, some choose to sit at the edge of the circle to gather their energies before continuing the dance, others leave the circle, to assimilate their feelings or to go to bed, or to sit and converse around the central fire outside the temple area. A few stay on, entranced by the energy of the rite, dancing until the early hours of the morning.

INTRODUCTION
As those of you who have read all the comments from past Euphoria’s will be aware the 2004 festival was not without its problems and complaints. After the dust has settled on 2004 the committee had a good look at the way we do things and made several changes.  The Euphoria website was significantly updated and expanded, we introduced affinity groups at the morning debriefing sessions, which allowed people to express their feelings in smaller groups, and we completely changed the way we organize the party night, these changes seem to have sorted out the problems that arose during 2004, and euphoria 2005 was one of the most successful and enjoyable festivals we have staged to date. We also introduced a new ritual at euphoria 2005 the ‘Underworld Journey’ into the realm of Hades and Persephone. This ritual was the first, since the NOX rites were presented, in which the principal ritualists remained robed throughout the formal part of the ritual. 

However, this state of affairs soon changed when people entered the paradisial realm of the Eleusinian fields. But before they could experience paradise the ritual participants had to make the underworld journey and endure its ordeals, not the least of which was the interminable wait before being allowed to make the attempt. It was decided after the ritual that, should this rite be attempted again the logistics of getting 80 people through the ordeals of Earth, Air, Fire and Water should be carefully considered so that everyone would have a chance to experience all aspects of the rite before succumbing to exhaustion.

The BAPHOMET rite was almost sedate by comparison with previous years, but Dionysian revelry reasserted itself for the party night, with people dressing up, dressing down and partying the night away.

Impressions of a first timer, Euphoria 2005, by Rachel

Day One
Thursday, 24 March

Euphoria stirs fond memories in so many, yet generates scrutiny and criticism from others. I had heard some of the controversy surrounding this pagan festival, especially in the months following the 2004 event.

My decision to come to Euphoria for the first time in 2005 was based on two things. My desire to experience the event firsthand instead of hearing about it and the lack of an equivalent in NSW.

In the months leading up to Euphoria, I discussed the fact I was attending with numerous Sydney people who had been before, including Coven members. I printed off every article on the Euphoria website and read it thoroughly to try to understand what the weekend was all about.

Even so, I’ll admit to being a little nervous when I arrived at the Euphoria site courtesy of a shuttle service provided by the Committee (thanks guys!). It’s hard when you have heard so much about something and come suddenly face-to-face with it – by your own choosing! But no time for nerves as I was welcomed at the front desk and shown the workshops and kitchen duties roster by Committee member, Forest.

Then it was time for the welcoming briefing. Hawthorn details the schedule for the weekend and drives home the Code of Conduct which all participants are to adhere to. I am reassured that there are firm systems in place at Euphoria should I have any concerns or issues. The Code of Conduct and the need to act with respect towards each other is returned to frequently during the course of the weekend.

We then shared the first of many wonderful vegetarian meals together. It is a tradition at Euphoria to invite a new group to cast the Circle and lead the opening rite for the weekend. Someone informs me that this is the same group who are providing all our meals for the weekend!! I am amazed at this level of input, commitment and love.

We assemble in our robes around the huge fire in the centre of the property. Ritualists visit all 80 participants, bearing a different incense for each element. As we take in each different scent, I visualize taking each element into myself. Breathing in earth, water, air and fire as it enlivens the spirit.

Then Hekate emerges, the Patron Goddess of Euphoria. She is wild, proud and surely too tall to be a human. Her dragons growl ferociously as she moves around the circle. Her feet do not appear to touch the ground.

The Circle cast, we all move to the fire, where a huge pentagram is set alight. The chants begin and we begin to dance slowly widdershins, feeling our way with the fledgling energy. The dancing and drumming take off. People start to shed their outer selves as they howl at the moon which hangs suspended above us, pale and bright. We are leaving behind the waking world and giving the ‘wild witch’ permission to come out. I can feel her start to emerge, but she is never very far away, living just below the surface.

Having emerged from a serious car accident and a week in hospital due to tonsillitis last year, I acknowledge my limits and realize I have a way to go this weekend. I resolve not to burn out too soon and retire early. I drift off to sleep to the sounds of drumming.

Day Two
Friday, 25 March

The tone of Day Two takes on a healing aspect as Veronica, Catherine and I set up a quiet space in the Committee cabin for Reiki and massage. Numerous people I care about come to the table, along with new friends. Being fairly new to Reiki, it never fails to amaze me with its healing power, both for patients and practitioners. And in my opinion, regular massage for everyone might bring an end to world conflict!

We leave our healing space to attend a Sex Magick workshop with Shé. I am looking forward to hearing some insights from this living goddess and dear friend. We are taught the Shakti Pat, a soft, flowing caress using eye contact. I can feel its energy and look forward to using it on a partner one day!

In the afternoon, we attend a thorough briefing for the Underworld Mystery rite. Philippe explains the aim of the ritual, the symbolism behind some of the things we will be doing and an overall view of what will happen. We are told we will be ‘marked for death’ and pass through the Underworld in order to gain access to Elysium, the blessed abode after death. We are told to dress warmly and comfortably for the ritual.

Following the briefing, the evening becomes quiet and somber for me, as I prepare for my own symbolic death. I think about the things I would still like to do but haven’t. Procrastination, laziness, being distracted and the ‘too hard basket’ are all on my mind. It’s not all bad as I reflect on the many things I have done and achieved in this lifetime. I ask myself “If I had to go today, have I achieved everything I set out to do? Do I have regrets? Or is there even any need to be concerned with such achievements?”

Once again, the large central fire is the starting point for the ritual. The moon hangs above us, luminous and white. I see a Goddess in Her face that keeps molding and changing before my eyes. Many people are robed in black, their faces painted a ghostly white. Awaiting death, the ritualists knock on the earth to gain entry to the Underworld and we will all be joining them soon enough.

Drumming starts up, an Indian tribal rhythm. Memory stirs in me of another life. Hawthorn comes swirling and whirling through the darkness. He sweeps six men or so into the centre of the circle. Robed in black, they begin to whirl and spin. Black Sufis, I am rooted to the spot, engaging in an energy and a memory I do not fully grasp or understand. But it is powerful.

People begin to be abducted screaming and kicking. They are taken through the trials and enter the Underworld. By the fire, we do not see where they go, but we can hear the wounded souls. With 80 people, the process of abduction and trials takes some time. During this I am left to ponder what waiting to die would be like. Would it be like this with people screaming? Or would they be relieved and happy to go, their time here at an end? Some people comment that the process of dying is taking a long time, but then again, in real life it sometimes does. I am struck by the realization that each moment still here is precious. I calmly await my fate, though not dancing as energetically as before!

I am one of the last five to go through. Somehow I am not surprised by this. My abductor leaves his robe around my neck, a keepsake of our encounter. I am buried in this robe, cross the River Styx, sing my song to calm Cerberus and step across the fires of hell.

I enter Elysium and I am met with a scene of gods and goddesses come to life. Ken looks like Apollo. Shé looks like a warrior goddess. I drink the elixir of Acaron because I want to remember my past life and choose the alcoholic version because I am Dionysian and proud of it!!

Though in a ritual state, I do think about the ritualists who have taken us through our ordeals tonight and spent hours outside in the cold. One of them enters the room, lies down right beside the fire and places his feet nearest the flames. The effort made by so many people with this ritual is incredible and I am grateful to be here for the experience.

We witches dance around the cauldron and the fire whirls up, chaotic, untamed and wild. I burn a sigil, focus on it and watch it burn down to ash.

The night’s activities have taken their toll and I decide to retire to bed. It’s pretty tiring dying you know!

Day Three,
Friday, 26 March

The next day I don’t want to get out of bed. Feel run over by a truck and decide that lying curled up in two sleeping bags is going to help. It doesn’t of course! David from our cabin brings me a lovely cup of tea. I had told everyone that I was going to miss breakfast and sleep as long as necessary, but then I hear pancakes are being served. I am up and into the dining room surprisingly quickly. Moving around feels better than lying in bed and I come back out of myself.

We spend a leisurely day, eating, drinking and snoozing in preparation for the main rite of the weekend – Baphomet. I attend the ritual briefing but miss both workshops in favor of sleeping and preparing. At the briefing, Hawthorn takes us on a guided visualization where we gather, then fly to a sabbat. His voice is hypnotic and deep and the sabbat feels overwhelmingly familiar.

After dinner, people begin to prepare for the rite. I am the first person to line up for the body paint in the dining hall. My forehead and chest are painted with dark blue crescents and snakes curl up my arms. My Isis necklace sits between my breasts. People transform into leopards, mud men, wolves and beasts. Ancient symbols adorn their bodies. A sense of excitement is building.

We assemble beside the central fire under an eerie and haunting Full Moon. The drumming begins in preparation for the walk down to the ritual site. The Beast is already stirring and I can feel the energy moving through our bodies and around, threatening to erupt if we allow it.

We walk down to the site drumming and chanting. We pass through the elements and are cleansed. We must chant to enter, however, and we do so loudly and wildly. I feel the energy of a Grand Sabbat transport me to another time, another place, where I have been with many of these people. And we were witches!

Ritualists circle us wearing sheer robes the colours of the elements. I am filled with a love for each of them, as I love each of the elements which balance our bodies and minds.

Baphomet emerges from behind a red veil. I know I am looking at the body of Seline, but the body does not move like a human. He/She moves with a stumbling step and shaky legs as if new to human form. It is then I know Baphomet is here and the face of the black goat resonates deep within me, a Capricorn. Baphomet is part of me, familiar, yet wild and strange.

One by one, we kiss the rump of Baphomet and people lose themselves, moved and emotional. The Beast and the wild witch are coming out and they are hungry to touch, feel and experience.

We bind ourselves with white cords and scream for freedom from ignorance, oppression, fear and guilt. We chant to release our wild selves. “Let the Beast without, awaken the Beast within.” After a time, we throw off our bindings into the fire. Mine sails over and lands on the other side. I realize that release for me will not be so simple and I must pursue it. I dance around the fire to where the cord lies on the ground, refusing to burn. I leave it there for the time being to work more on what I need to do. When I return later, it has become engulfed in the flames.

The rite sweeps me away as I watch Baphomet move among the participants. He/She walks past Jade and then turns back. Standing nearby, I feel their exchange as Baphomet roars into Jade’s face and third eye. Heads together, they bridge a gulf of guilt, pain and suffering. The two beings become one, screaming and roaring. This is why I am here. To see this moment.

I alternate between dancing and drumming as the ritual moves into a celebration. Despite the car accident, my body feels lithe and supple as I dance like I haven’t for so long. My spirit is freed, ecstatic and entranced. I reclaim a body which has been in pain, heavily medicated and inactive.

I remember very little of the rest of the night. I look around at one stage and only a small group is left. What did I do all night? Still not sure!

I leave the Circle and walk back alone, but the moon is with me. I know I will never be the same again. I choose to sleep in my body paint.

Day Four
Sunday, March 27

Day Four is mellow and laid back. Veronica, Catherine and I continue with our Reiki sessions, now joined by David. I am fortunate to receive a wonderful healing energy through palm reading, tarot and discussion. There are tears but I know they must come.

The final night is party night. Philippe has spent hours preparing the music for our enjoyment. We have a choice of music and dress theme in three locations, Lingerie and contemporary music in the gym, Tribal wear and world music around the fire, and fantasy wear and ambient music in the chill out room, everyone is of course free to dress or undress as they choose and to experience any or all of these spaces throughout the night.  I wear my bellydance costume which has not had any outings since the car accident. It feels great to tinkle again!

Some of the Sydney people join hands around the cauldron in the gym, including me. A huge tourbillion erupts, almost touching the roof as we scream ecstatically. People enter the gym to dance, wearing their second skins. Among the wild revelry, I see a sense of peace in so many faces. Baphomet has taken hold in our lives.

Although I know I am tired, I again surprise myself by dancing for hours. I enjoy cups of tea in the dining hall, terrific conversations and the occasional time out by the fire. It reaches a point in the evening where I am ready for the chill out room. I sit down beside the open fire and remain there for the rest of the night. Dawn breaks and I realize I have not slept a wink, but sleep is the last thing on my mind. I am not tired, not cold, not anything, just this.

Day Five
Monday, March 28

The final morning breaks and Euphoria is nearly over. We begin the process of cleaning the site and everyone knuckles down to help with much activity, talking and laughter.

The circle has remained open all weekend and now it is time to close it. We assemble in the woods, sit down on the straw and discuss our experiences. After comments, thanks and praise have been delivered, Seline and Hawthorn close the circle. Euphoria is over for another year.

Returning back to my cabin, I realize I have begun to bleed during the closing of the circle and it feels appropriate and fitting.

Closing

So that was Euphoria for this first timer and it certainly won’t be the last. Thank you to Seline, Hawthorn, the Committee and all the people who work so hard to make Euphoria possible. For freeing so many people, I thank you more than words can express…

Evohe Baphomet!!!